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It's not like the movies. They fed us on little white lies. [entries|friends|calendar]
Jen Chen

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(here stood 1 dreaming tree. | Long before these crowded streets...)

compare [20 Sep 2006|12:28pm]
when i compare where im at not to where i was a year ago, i cannot even relay how much happier i am. its ridiculous. my how a year has changed. when i turned 23 i new a new leaf had turned.

(Long before these crowded streets...)

Fire Eye'd Boy [04 Sep 2006|09:15pm]
[ mood | amused ]

this is a good song.

i have a place in pasadena bitches.

come visit soon.

au revoir,
Jen

(Long before these crowded streets...)

long time no post. [20 Aug 2006|03:24pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

I've meant to post for a while, but have never gotten around to.

Tonight is my last night of summer and i am once again bound to the clutches of school, although now it is a whole new school. Only time will tell how life at USC will treat me, hopefully well.

And as my twilight of summer reaches it last glowing hands to the sky I can honestly say that this summer, I had the time of my life. Though I didn't have enough time, every second of it was poignant.

au revoir.

(here stood 3 dreaming trees. | Long before these crowded streets...)

weeee [21 Jun 2006|09:37am]
i graduated.

i got into USC for my masters.

i'm leaving for europe in less than 24 hrs.





weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

(Long before these crowded streets...)

9th week [29 May 2006|09:17pm]
no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more no more.


europe 2006: 24 days.

(Long before these crowded streets...)

June [29 Apr 2006|12:59am]
[ mood | listless ]

All I want, is for it to be June 22 and for me to be on a plane to Europe.

(here stood 3 dreaming trees. | Long before these crowded streets...)

school shmool drool [18 Apr 2006|11:32pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I am knee deep in my last quarter at UCSD. Tis 3rd week and the agenda for next week is:
-1 Psych paper
-1 Music Paper
-1 Lab Report
-1 Lab Midterm
Yes, death awaits me come 4th week. For the past 2 days I have exercized a blatant lack of self control. I bought 5 cds at Tower yesterday and a dress today, but to my defense they were all splendidly priced. The thing about the dress was, I tried it on and I thought "I could wear this in Rome" and I just pictured myself walking down the city streets in heels on a sunny afternoon eating gelato. After that daydream, how could I resist not buying it? Oh Europe, how I cannot wait for this summer. This is something I've wanted to do my whole life, and to have the realization of this fantasy be at my mere fingertips is almost unbearable. Just having 25 days to roam from city to city with 3 of some of the loveliest girls I know sounds so amazing I almost think that I'm dreaming. Purchasing the tickets and making reservations for all the hostels in itself is a dream come true. I just gotta survive school and applying to gradschool. Maybe I'll get in, maybe I won't, and quite frankly I'm not too worried. I am sure that where ever it is that I am meant to be in life, I will find a way to get there. If it takes me longer, so be it, but I'm not missing out on simple joys along the way.

I made myself a list of all the things I needed to do before I leave SD. So far I was able to mark off going to seaworld (I have a year pass! wooo!), going to the cave, and going to a grunion run. The grunion run just happened by accident. It was funny because I was telling Raj about grunion runs (because he didn't know what it was) and all of a sudden I look on the beach and there it was. In retrospect, that's a bit comedic. So yes, 3 down, a ton more to go, but I'm looking forward to all of it. And I'm not leaving San Diego until its all done.

Take Care the 3 people who still read this. hahaha.



P.S. Why am I always sleepy?

(Long before these crowded streets...)

[15 Mar 2006|08:38pm]
Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."

Conscientiousness:

You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

(here stood 1 dreaming tree. | Long before these crowded streets...)

Dear Tj [10 Mar 2006|05:55pm]
I love you.



I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH.

(here stood 1 dreaming tree. | Long before these crowded streets...)

don't drink the water.. there's blood in the water. [01 Mar 2006|04:22pm]
dmb dates announced. so cal is as follows:

Fri / Aug 25 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre / Irvine, CA with TBA

Sat / Aug 26 / Coors Amphitheatre / Chula Vista, CA with TBA

Mon / Aug 28 / Hollywood Bowl / Hollywood, CA with TBA



any takers?

(here stood 3 dreaming trees. | Long before these crowded streets...)

hello [26 Feb 2006|08:26pm]
I've been told I never update this anymore. Well, this is true (clearly, brutal). Well friends that are attentive and bored enough to read this shit, this entry is dedicated to you.

So what's been up with me lately? Not too much, getting through school and the like. I've decided not to go ahead and apply to medschool just yet. In all honesty, the unease and the mental and emotional ramifications that I associate with taking the mcat are so daunting that I can't bring myself to retake it and just garner the 5 extra little points that will assure me a spot into a medschool. Do I have the capacity to raise my score merely 5 points? I full heartedly believe I do. Its just, last year was such a shitty year on so many levels, I don't want to associate anything with it. I'm done with being 22. I hated being 22. I'm ready to usher in 23 and I am ushering it in with open arms. This Friday, March 3 I step into a new future and I am never turning back. I'm applying to get my Masters in Public Health which I was originally planning on doing after medschool. Clearly, I've decided to flip flop. I'm for sure going to apply to USC and Loma Linda. I might apply to CSULB for their spring quarter, but I'm not sure about that yet. I'm only bummed that I made this decision too late to apply to Berkeley. I would've loved to live in SF. I plan on moving there one day. That city has so much charm. Who's with me?

For the most part I've been well. Extremely busy. I picked up 2 new volunteering jobs: remedial reading and promoting cancer awareness in the Asian American community. I like doing them both, but I sometimes wonder why I'm volunteering at 4 different places and not working. I'm always so short on cash and with Europe looming in the horizen I definitely need more than the $2,000 I have saved in stocks. Europe. I think the mere thought of it gets me through the days when I feel I can't go on. When it seems that I have something due in every class (haha like this upcoming week) and when I think of unsavory tidings, the thought of having a huge dream be realized in just a few months brings a warm feeling to me. Its funny how something so trivial as a continent can have that effect on me.

Anyways, Bert and I are having our annual birthday hang out this Saturday, March 4 at the Beauty Bar in San Diego at 10pm and we would love everyone to come. If you haven't rsvped me, do so shortly.

PS I've become obsessed with Chess after Brent and Raj taught it to me. Too bad I suck, but with practice my children, with practice.

(Long before these crowded streets...)

Reliability. [25 Jan 2006|03:20pm]
[ mood | bored ]

A curious thing technology is. To think that with the advent of the microchip, the whole world changed. I, and many others, have become entirely too dependent on the computer. Whether it be for homework, research, entertainment, or communication, it seems our world has this dependence on computer technology to the point where it becomes more than merely a crutch, but an obsession or even in some cases a religion if you will. Though I frequently utter malicious comments about computers, I cannot dely how reliant I am on them. Everything depends on them down to the music I listen to every day as I walk to and from classes and the shuttle stop. And I cannot deny my excitement to receive my new apple (whenever that may be) and being hopeful that it is something reliable. The reliability is key. I have observed that reliability is what humans tend to search for in life. For instance, in love, at the crux one searches until s/he can find a mate who s/he can settle down with--a reliable partnership. We strive to further ourselves in school only to find a job that we can depend on. Who are you closer with: the good friend that you can always depend on or the good friend that is unreliably present? Who do you admire more: The politician who took long breaks mid-term or the politician who was always working and got an average of 4 hours of sleep at night. What do you enjoy more: the toy that fell apart after playing with it for a month or the toy that you've had since you were 5 and still going strong. Yes, there is an adventerous streak in all people. There is most definitely an affinity for variety to take away from the mundane, but in essence we strive for the mundane. In fact, we enjoy the mundane. The mundane, instead becomes in itself an oxymoron.

People like experimental music, partly because trying different things is what they've come to expect. So, in that sense, the performer is really not experimental at all, instead just like everyone else. When complimenting something all these adjective denote reliability: the unfailing God, everlasting love, the loyal friend, etc...


blah i'll continue this later. I like how livejournal is stopped becoming the newest internet fad and barely anyone checks it anymore. now its all about myspace and i can continue my musings in relative obscurity. time to write my paper on 7 different music cases and their uses and functions. oh mus 110: ethnomusicology.

(Long before these crowded streets...)

hello, [20 Jan 2006|02:39pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

i like:

-that its cold and I can wear scarves and not look like a fool.
-being weird with the roommates and pretending to be mean to them.
-making up stupid songs about nothing.
-have coffee and being in the strangest mood ever.
-visitors that come to the onyx room with me.
-deciding what to name my new apple before it even comes in.
-being warm under blankets during cold days.
-hot chocolate with marshmellows.
-any and all things christmas and being read stories.
-that it's friday.
-going to volunteer at the hospital even though it has been a long time and feeling completely comfortable during busy and slow patches.
-the thought of travelling the world next summer.
-red toe nails.
-turtles climbing on top of each other to try to climb on the gargoyles.
-the thought of aj being home on monday.
-edith piaf's La Vie en Rose.
-laughing.

(Long before these crowded streets...)

[25 Dec 2005|09:18pm]
I was watching Black Hawk Down with my dad the other night and near the end there's this scene where a soldier walks into a medical tent and sees a multitude of doctors working on a soldier. Suddenly, a great splash of blood falls to the ground and the soldier rushes and grabs a towel and goes down on his hands and knees and starts trying to wipe the blood off the ground, but the towel isn't really soaking up the blood, it is instead smearing it around. There's something very poetic about that single scene. The officer, that rushed to help, humbly on his hands and knees. Yet with all his strength and courage, he was unable to clean the blood up. There was just too much blood, and the cloth didn't absorb it enough.


My christmas is nearing an end, and yes a satisfying one it has been indeed. I have found that broken families coming together make things seem more whole again. Afterall, when friends are like family, is there anything that really creates that imaginary line between friend and family than our own DNA, which in every human is 99.99% the same. If we're so much the same, then yes, friends can be called our real family.

Thank you my friends, for being my family.


♥,
Jen

(Long before these crowded streets...)

London Calling [16 Dec 2005|01:40am]
[ mood | okay ]

Its been a long time since a have really updated this thing. Anything that has been entered on these pages recently has been phrases or quotes, bullshit, fragmented, quixotic entries really. I have been home since monday for 4 weeks of winter break. Already there were times in which I've been bored out of my mind as well as entertained. I had the pleasure of finishing up the 6 video Pride & Prejudice box set with Bobby Cressey this week, which is by far the best version of Pride Prejudice I've seen. This collection is where the at times, rabid crush on Colin Firth was conceived. I also had the pleasure of seeing Syriana with the dear Tj Tallie today, which I enjoyed immensely. The movie was poignant and thought provoking, though it was a heavy subject indeed. Thus, I have frequented the whole San Pedro/ Harbor City/ Rancho Palos Verde area a great deal within the past few days, hence I'm a tad sick of driving. While I love the company of these fine folks that I adore and who are by far some of my favorites from UCSD, I am still lacking the quality time that I would like to spend with my friends of the hometown. I'm sure soon I will finally get this time that I am yearning for.

I will be taking a 4 day vacation to Arizona and New Mexico through which I will be visiting places such as the white sand desert and the Carlsbad Caverns. I'm tentative on my thoughts of this vacation, but I think a change of scenery with my parents and myself will do us all a little good. Sometimes during the holiday season, everyone gets sentimental, especially with the onslaught of ornaments from christmas pasts. Though cherished, they are bittersweet. I hate questions about my sister, but I know it is necessary because it is from those who care, and for that I am immensely greatful. The truth is, whenever I get a question, it always causes an unpredictable rise of emotions. Sometimes it is sadness, other times its anger. Yet at all times I attempt to cover it up with indifferent annoyance. At night since I now have a room to myself, it is completely silent. Thus, I have time to ponder how many saw right through me.

I feel I should study for my MCAT, but I'm afraid to discover how much I've forgotten. There now, perhaps the vulnerability that I have put forth in the entry has made up for any mask that I put on earlier in my life. Its a paradox how I can at times completely have my heart on my sleave and then at other times I can be a manequin in a shop window. I guess it comes down to how secure I am feeling at the moment, because in the end we are all somewhat self conscious at all times. It is merely the level of self consciousness that varies in accordance with your surrounding, your mood, and with whom you are spending time with.

I see children every where I go and they inspire me because they remind about how life's simple pleasures are what makes life living. Cliche as it sounds, it is entirely true. Phone calls from friends, the gentle brush of my cheek by the hand of a parent saying "I love you my dear daughter", and a meaningful hug are some of the many things that relay to me, yes this is your life and God is showing you its ok, because he still loves you.

(Long before these crowded streets...)

Spent. [15 Dec 2005|01:45am]
"Life is hard for her
Broken families and broken homes
Tearful goodbyes
Blackstained streaks lined many sodden cheeks
She cries 'My love, My love' across the prison glass
'My heart belongs to thee
Oh, my love, my love'

Poor sweet girl who tasted
My dear, your love is spent and wasted.
The taste of love's bitter tears.
One sided is your unfounded love, my dear.

Misfortune has run amuck
And still you pray for luck
Still is the life you lead
As you drown in the blackest of seas
Slowly, the ocean folds you in
And lifes fine jewels await you no more
Squandered, those deepest riches were.

Poor sweet girl who tasted
My dear, your love is spent and wasted.
The taste of love's bitter tears.
One sided is your unfounded love, my dear.

And nights under the onyx sky
They still wait, though they bid her goodbye.
Full of hope some remain
Because hope is all that tarries.
Tainted are the skies that turned to grey
Oh sweet girl,
Why did you choose that sullen life you lead?"

-Author Anonymous

(Long before these crowded streets...)

[10 Dec 2005|04:08pm]
"I don't mind the weather. I've got scarves and caps and sweaters."

(Long before these crowded streets...)

i miss... [08 Dec 2005|02:15am]
so many many people. so many things. so many aspects.

slow down slow down.

(here stood 2 dreaming trees. | Long before these crowded streets...)

[21 Nov 2005|11:12pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

movies seen this month:
-Shopgirl: Great flick. It captures the insecurity and vulnerability that singletons know all too well. It shows how people need to progress. How relationships need to be based on love and honesty. How life is complicated and communication is essential. I love Steve Martin, Jason Schwartzman, and Claire Daines so I knew this would be good.

-Pride & Prejudice: I'm a big fan of Austen and especially, of this novel. I really enjoyed this. However this movie was too blatant. Austen (like the other 6 video version of Pride & Prejudice) is a lot more subtle. It was good for a two hour version, and fairly well done in general (afterall, it is a Focus Feature), but I guess nothing compares to my good old version of Pride & Prejudice. That's what happens when you adapt a 600 pg novel to a movie a little over 2 hrs. Even the 5 hr. version was pushing it. I did adore the movie though it was a tad corny at parts, I ate it up. This movie reminded me that no matter how hard I sometimes try not to be so girly, I, at the core, am very much a girl and damn proud of it. Three cheers for Austen.

-Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire: I also adore this movie. I'm sad all the subplots were cut out (the whole Dobby, Winky, Barty Crouch Jr. deal, but what else can you do with a novel as long as this? The movie was already 2.5 hrs and they need to make sure the time frame is viable for their audience. It was wonderfully done and connects nicely with Cuaron's adaptation stylistically, yet the cinematography wasn't as beautiful Cuaron's. Still, it capture the crux (no pun intended book 6 readers) of it. Cho Chang and Cedric are way cute, exactly as I pictured them so I was quite pleased. One thing about Cedric, in the book he seemed a lot more noble than how he was portrayed. Not that he wasn't portrayed as a good guy in the film, I was just under the impression from the book that Diggory was an impeccably good guy. Niceee job by "Mad-eye" though I wish they made that plot more masked as it was in the book. It wasn't hard to figure out in the way the crafted this film. All around, I loved the film and am eagerly anticipating a second go at it.

What I still need to see (if you would know any fine gentlemen who would like to be my beau I'd be much obliged):
-RENT. Damnnnnnnnn I'm excited to see this movie. I remember it being excellent when I saw it on stage and I'm sure it'll be excellent on screen. It comes out this weekend. Anytakers?
-Walk the Line. I've heard it was good. I really want to see this.


November has been a good movie month.

(Long before these crowded streets...)

[18 Nov 2005|03:15am]
I love harry potter and i love my roommates and extended family. i miss my sister and it sucks that bullshit with her has made me irrate all day and i hate being fake with people like i've been all day...except while i was watching harry potter and i didn't have to talk with anyone. great movie.

they cut out a bunch of stuff, changed a few things (as with all book to movie adaptations), but they still captured the essence of Goblet of Fire quite well.

I've been thinking things over, and I don't think I'm going to attempt for honors anymore. I'll think it over more this weekend though.

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